Drive home. Click garage door opener. Pull car in garage. Shut garage door. Enjoy the relaxation that privacy brings.
Many of us more or less do this right? In the privacy of our own home we say. Behind closed doors we say. If I could be a fly on the wall. If these walls could talk...
We live so much of our lives in our homes, behind our walls, behind our fences and our landscape, and our shades and curtains. We feel so private...until you see it all when it burns down. That's one thing that really hits me. I look around my burned area. We had nice homes and pretty fences. We had beautiful mature landscaping. We had so much privacy. Then you you see it burned bare.
I really had no idea we were all SO close together. I look around and see a sea of brick chimneys that seem SO close together.
And now we all see each other. And we meet neighbors looking at their ashes that we never met when we had our walls. We look for each other's pets. We help find each other housing. We share our sadness.
Our literal, physical, and metaphorical walls burned down. It's not private. We have nowhere to hide. We are exposed during this difficult time.
We have such a cliche about people that "come out of the closet." But we all have a closet. We have walls. We hide.
Have you handled your most difficult times on your own? I know I did. Its how I was raised. It's how my parents were raised. Did you put up walls due to shame or embarrassment? Did you think people would not understand? You didn't want to be judged. You didn't want to be the center of attention for your most vulnerable of issues? These are beliefs and rules we mostly were given as we grew up. But I love the time we live in. We can change and grow and learn. We can be mindful. We can choose new beliefs.
Since I began life coaching, the world keeps showing me over and over again, the deep and healing power of sharing. Because amidst the confusion and devastation and overwhelm, what I know now is that people want to help. When you are standing exposed with nowhere to hide, the helpers appear. They may not know exactly how to help or what to say, but kindness rises. I could fill pages and pages with the details of the kindness shown to us since the fire.
I was taught to suck it up and handle things on my own. I was taught that you keep personal and private challenges private. But may I tell you now: your walls, they are not strong. They can be gone in an instant. And if life finds you standing exposed and devastated with nowhere to hide, perhaps its time to be open to new ways. Welcome your helpers. They will appear. Find the people that understand. There will be someone who has stood where you stand. They have felt what you feel. They have stood bare among their version of ashes that were once their tidy and private life.
I have learned so many valuable lessons during all of the exposure that fire brings. It can be translated to so many life challenges.
So I ask you:
What are you hiding?
What do you need to share?
What is keeping you up at night?
Are you ready to ask for help?
Because walls tumble or perhaps burn,
but kindness rises and I promise, your helpers will appear.